My Stress Test

Take a look at the illustration at right. It seems really peaceful and relaxing. Like it's no big deal right? Believe me, they actually try to kill you! I had my first one 2 weeks ago. Now after many years of smoking, drinking, no sleep and various other things I won't mention, I'm not in the best of shape. But up until about a month ago I felt relatively healthy. Then one day my left arm started to feel funny. Kind of a pressure between my shoulder and hand. It came and went for a few days then one morning it got worse. Along with the arm came shortness of breath, hot flashes, etc., etc. I tried to blow it off but then I convinced myself I was having the "Big One". Long story short I was scheduled for the treadmill torture device. I think they used this in Medieval Times when the Iron Maiden was being serviced. After 15 minutes of going faster and higher I had to stop. Not because of any pain in my chest but the rest of my body wore out. It took 2 days for the swelling in my knee to go down. My back and shoulder still hurt and I am having recurring nightmares about the whole thing. After it was over the doctor showed me images of my heart before and after. He said there was no difference. I thought that was a good thing. Wrong! He said they couldn't get my heart rate up enough to get an accurate reading. Oh really? Sea Biscuit's heart rate was lower than mine when he beat War Admiral. So what's next you ask? The Medically Induced Stress Test last week. My suggestion is go with this one first and save yourself the pain. They inject you with some type of nuclear stuff then do the EKG thing. It kinda makes you feel like your heads gonna pop off for a minute or two but other than that it's a breeze. I have to go back this coming week for a few more tests but they're pretty sure I'll live until the bill is paid. I believe that's their ultimate goal. There are a few problems but I don't think (I hope) anything really serious. Anyway I would like to thank all my friends who somehow found out about all this and took the time to call or email me expressing their concern. That means a lot to me. So thanks Jeff, Joe, Joey, John, Phyllis, Johnny T., Boo Boo, Pam, John, Steve, Mary Jo, Melanie, Julia, Jody, Joey G., Sef, Leslie, Andrea, Timmy, Rick, Dad and Marg and many others.

The secret is finally out. I knew that there had to be more than ignorance and arrogance behind the decisions "G Dub" has made during his reign as King, err, I mean President. Looking back on it now all the signs were clearly evident. The dis-associated, far-away look, the garbled speeches, the irrational decisions, those frequent "vacations" to Camp David and his ranch in Texas. All those overseas flights on Air Force One where he conveniently doesn't have to go through Customs or be x-rayed by the TSA. So come on George, share a little. You only have a few months left in office. Get up off the stash. How about including an 8 Ball with the Stimulus Checks?

Dick Cheney-Repeat Douche Bag

I actually hate to give Dick (May I call you Dick?) more airtime. I have debated over posting this for a few days. But what the hell-I don't feel like delving into rising gas prices, runaway inflation, a useless "war" in Iraq or the hundred other things that the Republicans have graciously bestowed upon the good citizens of this country during the Bush administration. But I will. So let's take a look at Cheney's latest statement concerning his "joke" about West Virginia. If you don't know what I'm referring to because you just arrived on earth I excuse you. If you are a U.S. citizen and don't know what the statement was then you obviously are: A) A Republican B) Too stupid to vote or C) Both A and B above. Now as we all know making a derogatory remark, even in jest, about a certain race, religion, country, state, etc. is wrong and the person making such a comment should burn in hell. That's my public statement for the record. The truth is we all do it. Of course anyone with an I.Q. above 7 doesn't say it in front of several TV cameras and major news media. Some of us mean no harm while others actually intend to offend. It doesn't surprise me that Cheney said what he said because he is an arrogant, manipulative, pompous ass. Under normal circumstances he would have committed political suicide. But lets take a deeper look at his statement. He doesn't care. Neither does his boss. My only hope is that the Democrats that elected Bush #2 (either out of fear or ignorance) will finally realize that the promises of thieves and liars (hereafter known as the Republican party) have led us to the brink of destroying America. I'm exaggerating you say? Look around...I mean really LOOK! This country is less than 6 months away from total chaos. Think things are bad now? We have yet to feel the full effects of escalating gas prices. If something doesn't give-and soon-maybe next winter-you just might have to burn your grandma's china cabinet to stay warm for one day. The next day you get fired because you can't afford the gas to drive to work. Your kids are hungry but you can't buy groceries because you owe the IRS last years taxes. You take a number and get in line for public assistance but after doing the math you realize that you would have to live to be 176 years old before you reach the overwhelmed girl behind the counter. While walking home (you can't drive because you have no gas remember?) it finally sinks in that maybe, just maybe, the Republicans don't give a shit about you Mr. Middle Class. You've worked your whole life and paid your taxes (like you have a choice!). Maybe all you ever wanted was to provide for your family and go to Disney World one time. Kiss those extravagant dreams goodbye. So what does all this have to do with Cheney's jab at West Virginia? I think it can be summed up in one word. RESPECT. The Republican party doesn't respect you as a law abiding, tax paying, honorable citizen. They take everything they can from you and when there's nothing left you are of no use to them. And there's an old saying "Be careful what you wish for." Well West Virginia, 8 years ago you voted for Bush and Cheney. The first four years evidently didn't sink in so you did it again in 2004. God help us if McCain wins in November. But keep believing the lies. Spend your Supplement Check (which if you would think about it is your money anyway that they have stolen from you) at WalMart to buy your new shotgun. And make sure you buy shells because after another Republican administration you will want to blow your brains out.

Take the Test-Get a Check

I thought I would take a short break from adding someone to the Douche Bag list today and pass along the following email I received from a good friend. Disclaimer: I for one don't believe in random drug testing for all professions. (But that's a column for another day). I do however believe that the idea presented in the following email should be implemented.

"I HAVE TO PASS A URINE TEST FOR MY JOB... SO I AGREE 100%. Like a lot of folks in this state, I have a job. I work, they pay me. I pay my taxes and the government distributes my taxes as it sees fit. In order to get that paycheck,I am required to pass a random urine test with which I have no problem. What I do have a problem with is the distribution of my taxes to people who don't have to pass a urine test. Shouldn't one have to pass a urine test to get a welfare check because I have to pass one to earn it for them? Understand, I have no problem with helping people get back on their feet. I do, on the other hand, have a problem with helping someone sitting on their ASS, doing drugs, while I work. . . . Can you imagine how much money the state would save if people had to pass a urine test to get a public assistance check? Pass this along if you agree or simply delete if you don't. Hope you all will pass it along, though . . . Something has to change in this country -- and soon."

I think this is a great idea. It probably won't ever be implemented because it might "offend" someone or be considered discrimination against the fourth and fifth generation welfare families that have learned how to exploit the system and steal money from the pockets of the honest taxpayers, i.e. Middle Class Americans, of this country.

It Just Gets Worse

In a statement delivered Friday at his San Antonio church, Hagee said the ruckus "disappointed" him. His critics – including some Jewish leaders – had confused theological probing with defending the Nazis, he said, which was "heartbreaking."


Confusion? There is no confusion. He said what he said and it is what it is. It was a statement by a closed minded, arrogant douche bag that knows his followers will believe anything he says.


"John Hagee is one of the Jewish people's best friends," Los Angeles talk show host Dennis Prager said during his program.

Are you kidding me? With "friends" like him who needs enemies?

Rabbi Aryeh Scheinebrg of San Antonio's Orthodox Congregation Rodfei Sholom participated in a press conference in support of Hagee. The pastor is also being defended by David Brog, who is the Jewish executive director of Christians United for Israel.


I don't know who these guys are But defending Hagee and his beliefs is like.....I have no words. He HAS no defense! I have put my foot in my mouth on more than one occasion to the point of buying peppermint shoes. But to say that God sent Hitler to bring the Jews to the promised land is incomprehensible to anyone with an I.Q. above 30. Which explains why his followers believe him.

There is no defending what Hitler and the Nazi Party did during the Holocaust. Evil is Evil. George Bush and his supporters have raped this country. So have the likes of John Hagee and all the other media evangelists that prey on people's fears. They give false hope to desperate families who send them money hoping they can buy their way into Heaven. Well if John Hagee and George Bush are the path to salvation I for one don't want to go.

John Hagee-Asshole in a long line of Assholes

I'm sure you all have seen the story about John Hagee's statement that God sent Hitler so the Jew's could get to the promised land, yadda, yadda, and John McCain rejecting his endorsement (DUH!). OK, I'm just a tad sarcastic and a little cynical and as you know I'm not easily offended. But Hagee has taken the normal televangelist born again rhetoric to a new level. Now I'm neither Jewish or a Nazi nor am I (God forbid) a Republican and this pisses me off on so many levels that it took 24 hours for a coherent thought process to start up again. Just a few thoughts on the matter:

1. Anyone who thinks the sheep-like born again fringe religious fanatics in this country are just as mentally warped as Al Quida please raise your hand.

2. It surprises me somewhat that McCain, being a Republican, rejected his endorsement. Had it been George Bush he would have pardoned Hagee and said his taped statement was doctored.

3. More frightening than 1 and 2 above is the fact that there are thousands that actually believe what Hagee said just because he said it. I checked out a few message boards (just to irritate myself further) and was shocked by the sheer number of people that are defending him. These are the same people that believe dinosaurs and humans co-existed and use episodes of "The Flintstones" as proof. I was going to research a few more sites but I started seeing bright flashes of red at the corner of my vision and lost my motor skills preventing me from typing. I think I actually passed out from acute anger and frustration.

4. What do you think would happen if someone with the intelligence of an earthworm (or a born again christian) were to get elected to the presidency? They wake up hung over one morning after a raucous night of Bible thumping and condemning everyone that's not like them to Hell. After a hearty breakfast of extreme prejudice with a side of racism they realize that God came to them in a dream with instructions to (please insert your own Armageddon scenario here).......................

5. I want to try and reason with these people but if you've ever talked with them you know after 30 seconds there is more probability you can teach a lump of coal how to ride a bicycle.

Well the flashing lights are returning and I can feel my ability to type fading fast. I'll try and continue this later after I calm down.

What Time Is It??????

2008 and counting......

One of the perks of having your own blog is you can write anything you want-even when you're drunk in the middle of the night. Not that I'm drunk-I passed drunk awhile ago. I'm now in a state of drunk-reflection. Not a good place to be. While in this place I tend to remember the things I want to forget and forget the things I want to remember. You know what I mean. You've been there. If you haven't then you should not try and impress you're friends and co-workers with your tall tales of "I was soooooo fucked up I (insert daring deed here)"

Anyway I want to wish anyone that gives a rats ass Happy New Year! If anyone is reading this right now I'm out of vodka and smokes! Any help would be appreciated.

I'll now leave you with this thought...............