Say It Ain't So Jimbo!

It seems to be official. Florida State Offensive Coordinator and Clarksburg, WV native Jimbo Fisher has declined any offer to coach football at West Virginia University. Fisher will likely succeed Bobby Bowden as the next FSU Head Football Coach. This ends a weekend of speculation, false reports, confirmed "un-named sources" and bar rumors that Fisher was on his was to Morgantown. I actually had someone tell me last night that he had already bought a home at Cheat Lake.

Things must be pretty bad at WVU when Fisher would rather stay at a school that recently suspended 36 players for academic cheating. It's yet to be seen what sanctions the NCAA will levy against the Seminoles, but they tend to take this kind of thing very seriously. A similar incident in 2000 involving the Minnesota basketball team resulted in that program being put on probation for four years.

So instead of "coming home" and taking a head coaching job that would immediately double his $650,000 a year salary, Fisher would rather take his chances with a program that has been steadily failing for the last few years. If Florida St. is placed on probation his recruiting will suffer dramatically. And with the thugs he already has it's likely that he will be coaching players wearing ankle bracelets! By the time he gets that program turned around, if he ever does, he might be older than Jo Pa.

Yet even with all this going on he would still rather stay at Florida State. That begs the question "How bad is a coaching position at WVU?" It seems that what I wrote in an earlier post about the entire Athletic Department needing an overhaul may be true.

With the recent departure of Rich Rodriguez and the loss of a quality replacement like Jimbo Fisher, it's likely WVU will wind up hiring an under-qualified, overpaid coach.

Maybe Ed Pastilong can convince old "Redneck Don" to quit his current job of recruiting for Michigan and once again

patrol the sidelines of Puskar Stadium.

Golly gee! Wouldn't that be swell? Shucks, I'll bet he could snag that BCS trophy quicker than catchin' carp off the trestle in Maidsville!

SHAAZAAM !!!

Rich Rodriguez Press Conference

BREAKING NEWS

In his first move as the new football coach at the University of Michigan, Rich Rodriguez has named "Dinky" as his Offensive Coordinator. Dinky has had extensive experience in the fast food industry but has not seen a football field since he was ejected from a game in 1998 for urinating on a goal post. Ever the innovator, Rodriguez was quoted as saying "Dinky is one of the best play callers in college football. His game day skills are unmatched." Dinky is best known for the "Taco Dive" offense he introduced when he was an assistant locker room coach at Schmengle Business College. His offense helped lead the "Schmengle Secretaries" to a 6-5 record in the "Who Gives A Damn" conference in 1992. When asked how he would deal with the likes of Ohio State and Notre Dame, Dinky responded "Hey homes, those pendejos' ain't seen sh** yet! Now get that fu*k**g tape recorder out of my face. You a cop dude?"

Coach Rodriguez has yet to name the remaining positions on his staff but reports indicate that he has contacted his long time friend and defensive genius Chico "The Blade" Juarez, who is up for parole in March 2008. Michigan fans have much to look forward too as Spring Practice is fast approaching.