My Stress Test

Take a look at the illustration at right. It seems really peaceful and relaxing. Like it's no big deal right? Believe me, they actually try to kill you! I had my first one 2 weeks ago. Now after many years of smoking, drinking, no sleep and various other things I won't mention, I'm not in the best of shape. But up until about a month ago I felt relatively healthy. Then one day my left arm started to feel funny. Kind of a pressure between my shoulder and hand. It came and went for a few days then one morning it got worse. Along with the arm came shortness of breath, hot flashes, etc., etc. I tried to blow it off but then I convinced myself I was having the "Big One". Long story short I was scheduled for the treadmill torture device. I think they used this in Medieval Times when the Iron Maiden was being serviced. After 15 minutes of going faster and higher I had to stop. Not because of any pain in my chest but the rest of my body wore out. It took 2 days for the swelling in my knee to go down. My back and shoulder still hurt and I am having recurring nightmares about the whole thing. After it was over the doctor showed me images of my heart before and after. He said there was no difference. I thought that was a good thing. Wrong! He said they couldn't get my heart rate up enough to get an accurate reading. Oh really? Sea Biscuit's heart rate was lower than mine when he beat War Admiral. So what's next you ask? The Medically Induced Stress Test last week. My suggestion is go with this one first and save yourself the pain. They inject you with some type of nuclear stuff then do the EKG thing. It kinda makes you feel like your heads gonna pop off for a minute or two but other than that it's a breeze. I have to go back this coming week for a few more tests but they're pretty sure I'll live until the bill is paid. I believe that's their ultimate goal. There are a few problems but I don't think (I hope) anything really serious. Anyway I would like to thank all my friends who somehow found out about all this and took the time to call or email me expressing their concern. That means a lot to me. So thanks Jeff, Joe, Joey, John, Phyllis, Johnny T., Boo Boo, Pam, John, Steve, Mary Jo, Melanie, Julia, Jody, Joey G., Sef, Leslie, Andrea, Timmy, Rick, Dad and Marg and many others.